Les oreilles qui saignent - Prototypes

It's Friday. Where have I been all week? Well...I've been asleep. I've been stealing music from Marc. I've been learning how to play go. I've been trying to keep my head on straight and not get too caught up in all the insanity going on at work this time of year. And yet...I almost did...here is why:

The other day at work we had a staff meeting. It went pretty late and the main reason was our upcoming graduation. It didn't help that we spent a good 30 minutes discussing how we should properly dispose of our empty milk cartons from lunch.

At one point in the meeting the 3rd grade teachers all had to stand up and give a report on the graduation situation.

What I was expecting was a simple run down of what was to happen on graduation day and some questions/requests from the 3rd grade teachers regarding plans for the big day. What unfolded instead enraged me to the point where I could actually feel heat radiating off of my face. Instead of the aforementioned requests/questions, this was actually a chance for the teachers to give reports on the worst students in their grade. Each homeroom teacher gave a somewhat detailed report on their bad students. They mentioned how many days they had attended school this year. They mentioned what their plans were after school. They mentioned what each student's parents had to say. And then the teachers did something that blew me away. They asked everyone if it was ok if the students graduated anyway. All of these students were at school less than 80 days out of 194. Most of them were never in class. And yet all but one of them are going to graduate.

It pissed me off so much. They've done no work. Most of them caused more harm at school than good. They didn't study. They've learned nothing. No wait. They learned one thing: it doesn't matter if you give a shit--you can do whatever you want and still get away with it.

It took all of the power inside of me not to stand up and raise an objection, but it would have caused quite a stir. And seeing as how I wasn't even given the accompanying print-out that went with these requests it was obvious I wasn't even supposed to hear this stuff. Or my opinion doesn't seem to matter.

Either way I really want to ask one of the teachers WHY these kids get to graduate anyway. The only problem is I know it will most likely offend them. There is a cultural difference here that I understand in form but not in function. I don't see it's purpose. That's why I decided to just let it go.

I know I'm sounding like an old man here. "Those damn kids!!" Sometimes it's hard to believe myself. That's why I've just let this one go. Chalking it up to culture again and moving on...

Moving on to more important things...
I've been thinking more about what I'm going to do when I get back Stateside. The whole "substitute teacher at Talawacky" is one plan. A hilarious one. The more I think about it though, I can't see it lasting too long. Which means I'm going to have to find something to do....any ideas?

The long term plans aren't going that well either. It seems that being bi-lingual isn't enough to get a job. Apparently you need to be bi-lingual and have some other special skill like "marketing" or "being the manager of an automotive plant." Of course, seeing as how I'm none of the above...I feel a bit like I've fucked myself. Granted I don't like the idea of thinking about a career. But let's face it. I'm almost 25 and still have very little idea where I'm going or what I'm doing.

Ideally, I would like to get a job setting up and introducing Japanese artists/musicians to English speaking countries. Even booking tours, that sort of thing. I'd like to help some of the wonderful artists in this country get some exposure that they could never manage to get on their own. People need to hear and see this shit!

This requires two things. 1) High level of proficiency in Japanese. I'm working on it. I plan on going back to school next year to concentrate more on learning Japanese. It's GOING to happen. 2) Support from people who can help me make this a reality. Right now this is the one I'm having trouble with.

At any rate before I can do any of that I need to get some experience translating or interpreting or doing something with my Japanese to prove that I'm worthy of this kind of job. Now comes the vicious cycle:

You want a job translating? What other skills do you have? How much experience do you have? Little. None. Well we are looking for people with experience.

How can I get experience if everyone is looking for someone with experience? I'm going to have to just start making up lies on my resume I think.

So. If you hear of any sweet jobs dealing with translating Japanese available in the Greater Cincinatti area, let me know...

morning emergency post

rza is on fresh air.

this is amazing please listen here.

Brave Captain - fIREHOSE

So I've been debating on whether or not I should write about the teacher I work with, but recently I've realized that maybe I should document what's been going on in case she offs herself. This would clear me of all charges of murder. Which is good because I am about to murder her.

So for safety's sake, let us call this woman Kiddo. Kiddo started working with me in April of last year. She is a young woman, a year older than me. Like me, this was her first real job out of college. Like me, she'd never been a teacher before. In fact, it seemed like we had a lot in common at first and that we would hit it off quite well.

I was wrong.

The first semester went well. I helped her ease into the rhythm of daily school life. She was eager to get started. Frankly, after spending the last year running things I was more than willing to let someone else take the reins. I gave her the go ahead and figured the transition would go smoothly and I'd have a little more free time.

Things were fine for a while. She had great ideas. She wasn't too sure about discipline in the class room but I wasn't too concerned with it-in retrospect, a mistake-but overall I was really enjoying my now not-so-heavy workload and having someone to actually share ideas with. It wasn't until the start of the second semester that things started going wrong. I'm not even sure if I would say "go wrong" at that point, but it was the first time I noticed some...peculiarities in Kiddo's behavior.

The first sign was the haircut. Kiddo had shoulder length naturally colored hair when she began teaching. After some weekend in the summer, Kiddo came back with short, dyed hair. Pixie short. That terrible orange-blonde color Japanese people seem to love. It was...interesting.

Of course everyone made a big deal about it. It was a drastic change. Many people asked her if something had happened recently. Her answer was that no, nothing had changed and she was just hot having all that hair before. Sure thing, Kiddo. I didn't buy it and neither did anyone else. Things were pretty much normal for a while after that, but then her behavior started changing.

The first major thing I noticed was her lack of communication with me. I sit next to this woman in the staff room. I share 21 classes a week with this woman. My whole school life revolves around having a good relationship with this woman. And she wasn't talking to me. Or anyone else. She started having "shutdown" days. Days where she would speak as little as possible and make eye contact with as few people as possible. In class she was still doing a great job, but outside of class it was another world entirely. A little strange, but still professional enough to not be a problem.

This slowly changed into an even worse phase where she would randomly ask me questions concerning relationships and sex. Completely innapropriate topics for discussion among co-workers. A lot of hypothetical situations involving a boy and a girl breaking up, or fighting, etc. It was clear to me that she was having some kind of relationship problems. I'll keep it short but I think it can best be summed up in this scene which really did happen:

---------
Scene: Another day. No words have been exchanged between us in a week and a half save the daily "Good morning!" and "See you tomorrow"s. Kiddo and I are eating our respective lunches at our desks in slience.


Kiddo pauses in mid-chew. She sets down her chopsticks and swallows.


Kiddo turns her head towards me.


"Would you have sex with someone even if you didn't love them?"
---------


The story gets more interesting when one week an in-service meeting and demonstration lesson comes up. All the English teachers in the city have to participate and so our Vice Principal gives her a roster with all the names on it. Well, I ask if I can see the sheet. Her reaction is to snarl at me "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T SEE IT!" She then proceeds to claw at the sheet in panic and stuffs it into her desk drawer. She runs out of the room. She later declines participation in the in-service and so neither of us get to go.

At some point, she taught her favorite students how to say "fuck you" in English. Trouble-making girls that hate me. There were two problems with this. The first problem I had was that she didn't even give an appropriate translation. She told them that the equivalent meaning in Japanese could roughly be translated to "annoying" depending on context. I've heard teachers use the Japanese expression on their students to their faces. Hardly an innapropriate word for school. The second problem I had was her denying she ever taught them the word. Of course the girls immediately tried out this new phrase on the only native English speaker they know, me. And they did it in front of Kiddo. Kiddo told them to stop saying that and that it was rude. The students response: "But you just told us how to say it. Why can't we say it? You just taught us it!" She denied everything.

I could go on with stories like this for days but this post is getting long and I have some daily show clips to watch.

I think I can best sum it all up in one sentence. Three words. Succinct.
"I hate children."

And she's a teacher. Certified, or certifiable?

-----------------

I thought I'd at least share some nice links at the end of this long, disheartening rant. So here is some awesome stuff to enjoy. I have some music videos you should see. I'd say that both of them are great representatives of two easily identifiable time periods in American culture.

The first one is from a band called Fiasco from New York. Thanks to Marc for telling me about this one. Porno-comedy at it's finest. This video is NOT work-safe. It contains nudity. And lots of it. It's pretty hilarious to watch that lady do the things with her jugs.

The second video is from the awesome French dude who makes up Les Rhythmes Digitales on Astralwerks. Straight work-safe, and straight 80's awesomeness.

Finally, I leave you with this image.