bimyo

here it is 2007 already.

2007-01-03T22:01:00.000-05:00

i spent most of this evening reading over this blog and remembering all the things that were going on in my life when i was writing. i think i have picked up on a pattern. i get depressed or bored and eventually start writing. somehow i manage to pull myself out of whatever hole i'm in and things get better. so since it's the middle of winter and i'm feeling somewhat ...stagnanat...i thought i would pick up where i left off almost 9 months ago.

it's been a wild ride to say the least and for anyone that knows me personally they understand why. i don't really feel like going into any sort of details about my dad dying and what my family experienced because i feel it would be crass. i don't even really want to talk about the current situation with my family. not because it's bad -- i think it's okay considering the circumstances -- but because i just don't want to. i don't feel like it.

however i do feel like it's time i dusted off the ol' blog and explore what i'm thinking about and where things are going with me. a bit narcissistic perhaps. but i think necessary. for whatever reason writing things down seems to help me figure things out.

as i usually get back into blogging and post an intro post with little or no actual content i'll leave it at this. i'm not wanting to dive to deep into my thoughts right now, but i think that this is something i can get behind and get excited about again. i won't be mentioning anything too relevant to my current life until my next month.

Zambezi - New Mastersounds

2006-04-08T15:43:00.000-04:00

that title is very important. i just picked up a wonderful new record by this band the new mastersounds. they are great, the album is well produced and it is funky as shit. this track in particular is a great version of an old song.

the job is pretty sweet. the first full week is over and im exhausted but also really happy. sitting around for ten months at a time will really slow down your metabolism. working 40 hours a week has never felt so good and tiring at the same time. i already have a lot more energy and i imagine that will continue to increase. also the weather has been phenomenal.

the company is called hobsons and basically they are a student recruitment company. you know those school guides with a huge list of schools containing basic facts and information about schools? the "Ohio University is nestled in the rolling hills of southeastern Ohio..." kind of stuff? yeah. thats what we publish. i am apparently responsible for the editorial content in the international student guides and several websites. a lot of people i've talked to don't seem to find it too interesting, but its something that i actually have quite a bit of interest in and so far i am really enjoying it. just yesterday i was sitting at my desk working away and stopped and kind of giggled to myself for a second, thinking "i can't believe im getting paid to write something!" good stuff. and actually im shocked they gave me some of the responsibilities they did. i don't know if you are familiar with the TOEFL but in the non-english speaking world its a very important test for anyone wanting to study here. we have a partnership with the company who writes, makes and grades all of the TOEFL tests and i am responsible for the website that any student (600,000+) wanting to take that test must use to register for the TOEFL. wacky stuff.

also writing on here has become a really therapeutic for me. not only can i pretty much say whatever is on my mind, but spelling, grammar, and punctuation dont matter to me here and quite frankly *ITS* nice to not have to use the comma or the shift key constantly, hehaw.

i watch too much tv

2006-03-31T10:53:00.000-05:00

i do. i watch tons. only 5 more weeks of that, though. then the giant monstrosity that sits in our living room will be gone forever. whew.

i suppose its ok to go ahead and post about the job i got since i start monday. i had two serious job offers in three business days and it was pretty cool to actually have both offers on the table at once. the teaching job became a backup the minute i learned the details. there was a major stipulation: the old teacher could come back at any time she wanted and i would be out of a job. again. also, despite the pay being better than my current one, i had no benefits and was essentially a scab. yeah. fuck being a scab.

so i took the editing job. they really wanted me and i must say it felt good to finally be wanted. i'll be starting next week and honestly i can't wait to get back to the having a job lifestyle. i know that sounds silly but at least i'll stay busy now. fuck a bunch of not having a job for 10 months. it appears i may have a chance to move up in the ranks pretty quickly, too. they want to expand their audience so they can be a truly international publication. how? by publishing reference guides in other languages. rock and roll. im going to enjoy this last free weekend. later.

richord pryor live on the sunset strip

2006-03-25T17:35:00.000-05:00

while this article is almost six years old, it's still interesting. i'm reading invisible man again. i saw it on a friend's bookshelf and so it made its way back into my consciousness. i hadn't thought about it again until last week. i was driving around oxford thinking about things. i spend a lot of time thinking about my time in japan, but in a much different way than when i first returned to americatown. at first it was all nostalgia and desire, but not too long ago my thoughts shifted to one of experience and insight.

i was thinking about what it was that i liked so much about being in japan. there are many different answers to this questions including friends, culture, language, environment, etc., but those are all external things that affected me. i was looking for more of an inward answer. comparatively, life here is very different for me, and after some hard thought i had a bit of a personal revelation. i'm not sure what it says about me. it may be bad, it may be good. but it's true. to me that is the only important thing.

i don't know why, but coming back, i felt very exposed in some way. i still do, actually. i can't explain it too well but it has something to do with community and race. that may sound obvious, but what i'm getting at isn't so perceptible. i feel some sort of unspoken expectation to participate in life in general here. in japan it was always optional. sometimes it was good and sometimes it was bad, but overall, i really enjoyed having that option. of course the novelty of other wore of quickly and was replaced by feelings of resentment and paranoia, but i always had the option to turn off the outside world. no one bothered me and i bothered no one. it was great. at will, i could essentially become an invisible man.

-----
two things
1) i feel like im just scratching the surface on this subject. i hope to get into it more deeply, time permiting. but thats not right now. richard is on fire and my sparks can is almost empty. the subject deserves my full attention and sparks isn't going to help.
2) i've put off posting about the job situation on purpose. im waiting for limbo to end before i write anything down. i find re-reading less depressing that way.

Danse Sur La Merde - Prototypes

2006-03-15T10:27:00.000-05:00

in the words of mad moneys jim cramer: booya! just talked to mom and dad is coming home today. good stuff. no more trips to the hospital for a while. thats always good. im off to make some copies and buy some clothes.

n/t

2006-03-14T15:42:00.000-05:00

its been a minute. 4 job offers have landed on the table between now and then. it figures that when i finally don't give a shit what kind of job i get, i get some 'decent' offers. today i had an interview for the associate editor job. it went really well and i thought i clicked nicely with the interviewer. it sounds like there may even be a chance for me to edit and write in japanese for students interested in coming here for school. that would be a super sweet bonus to a job that im actually interested in doing. rock.

its been nice to actually be busy. last week and this week have been pretty good stuff. i forgot how shitty it can be to sleep all day and stay up all night. its fun for a while, even for the weekend, but for everyday....yikes. no good.

so things are going pretty well on that front.

im willing to say that things are 'normal.' sure, dad went back in the hospital saturday and has been there since. sure i cant even go in his room without wearing a mask, gown, and rubber gloves. sure i dont' have a job but at least im looking and even getting interviews. im broke, but whats new? nothings new. this is the new normal.

i don't really like the new normal, though...

Kingston 12 Tuffie- The Morwells

2006-03-06T15:46:00.000-05:00

an unexpected event: i have a job interview next tuesday with a publishing company in blue ash. holy crap. its for an associate editor position. they want me to bring writing samples. time to dig up some old shite.

any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Friends - MF Doom

2006-03-05T23:45:00.000-05:00

So that was a quick post and this will be a quick one, too. I've been exploring my 'career options' for almost 10 months now. yup. ten months of basic unemployment. amazing ive survived as long as i have.
one good thing: ive had tons of time to think about this sort of thing and where i want to go with my life and what i want to do. a couple of things ive figured out i need to be happy.

1) city lifestyle.
-fuck living in the country. i can be pretty fickle at times. ye olde grass is always greener syndrome hits me hardest when im not that happy. but fuck country living. i was really looking forward to living in small-town ohio again. green grass, open space, bbqs, etc etc. well fuck all that. it was great in the summer, right after i moved back. i hadnt been around green grass and open space in so long i ate that shit up. well, no more. i have realized this: the longer i live in a small town, the less likely i am to be happy. the longer i live in a huge ass city, the longer it takes me to get to a point where i am happy, but once i get there, my happiness just keeps going up and up. so fuck a bunch of country living magazines.

2) lots of options.
-okay this sort of ties in with #1 but i think id be happy even with a smaller city if there were things to do. fuck the going to a bar life. how about movies, clubs, shows, museums, record stores? if oxford had any of that shit, or if cinci did either, id keep busy. *yes i know cinci has some of these things. im poor and can't afford to drive there every weekend.

3) privacy
-while my last job didn't turn out to be the ideal job for me, i did a pretty good job and was happy with it. it kept me busy. the only major complaint i have was the baggage that comes with being a 'teacher.' its a job with responsibilities to the community you work in. thats cool, and i liked doing that, but my private life felt the effects. even being the son of a teacher here, i feel it. id rather have a job which allows me some personal freedom.

4) i don't think i will teach.
-yeah. educatin' ain't really my thing. i keep going back and forth on this one, i know. i know i know i know. but seriously, i think i like it because i know i can do it. then i get to the classroom and then i sigh because it can be so goddamn frustrating. it only takes one kid to make things go wrong. it takes an entire class to make things run perfectly. so while educating will pay the bills for now, i know in my heart i can't make a career out of it. i dont want to end up as disgruntled as my fed. gov. teacher was before retirement.

5) i like writing
-yeah. i do. i like writing. i especially like editing things. improving on other people's work. suggestions. also writing can be fun, too. i haven't done too much of it though. i hardly consider blogging to be writing. i have done some, but nothing in the last 3 years id consider worthy of giving a second glance. thats one problem. the other problem? i have no idea if im 'good' at writing or if i should even consider pursuing a writing career. maybe i should give it a shot, though. i know this sounds laughable but it as its my only frame of reference: "i did get "A"s on almost every english paper i wrote in college...."

138th Street - Bows & Arrows

2006-03-05T23:37:00.000-05:00

I just realized in the previous version of my blog i was getting to write and also broadcast what music id been checking out. so while this current version is a bit different than my old one, i thought id keep that format because i like it. it also lets me see where ive gone with my music tastes in the past year or so.

get yourself a jobby job

2006-03-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

today i applied for 12 different jobs. followed up on 3 others. i have a connection/relation to one person working at one of the places i applied. it should be interesting to see how many hits i get without knowing anyone.

unforunately im pretty sure i know the answer already. im still appalled at how the hiring process works here. no one gets a job unless you know someone working there. god forbid they hire someone with actual qualifications. such bullshit.

oblige

2006-03-01T01:22:00.000-05:00

with all of the insanity that has become my life in the last 10 months i can say that one good thing has come out of it thus far: i have learned a lot. most importantly, i have learned about my family and about my friends. its hard to imagine what my life would be like had all of this not happened. i would probably still be puttering along, oblivious to life as i see it now. happily unaware of how people really are or how they really can be. thankfully, that is not the case anymore.

unfortunately, it is /hard times/tragedy/dire straits/whatever you want to call it/ that brought about this new insight. while i am thankful for my newfound abilities, i almost wish i didn't have the opportunity to acquire them.

living abroad gave me the chance to hone in on my observation skills. not being able to effectively communicate with anyone for a good 6 months will do that to you. hell, just living in any foreign place will do that, i think. im so glad to have picked it up, though. its a lot easier for me to observe now. the down side is that my english skills have fallen and my writing skills have fallen even further. but im getting off track. that isnt what i want to talk about tonight. its my ability to see right through people.

i don't know what it is. hell, maybe i dont even have this skill but i feel like i can read people so much easier now than before i went abroad. i can tell how people are feeling without listening to a word they are saying. i suppose it goes back to having to adjust my way of understanding people. body language says so much that words don't. and body language never lies. thats just one of the many signs, though.

as i said, its unfortunate that hard times for me have been the cause for what ive learned. but again, as i said, im glad ive learned it. i realize now how important my family is. i really did take them for granted for so many years. calls once a week to be the good son. birthdays/holidays cards like the good son. but not really taking much of an interest in my parents or my sister. i think part of it was that i had to assert myself and my independence. part of it was me being a jerky, typical young 20 something knowitall. part of it was trying to have so many friends and get something from them that, really, only your family can provide you. unabahsed, unwavering support and love. these things are hard to come by. with a family though, it would take unthinkable acts to drive them apart. and hard times usually mean families coming together. mine is no exception and while things are hard for us now, im glad i have been given a second chance to get to know my family and have a really good relationship with them. friends, on the other hand, are a different story.

a true friend is so easy for me to identify now. i always have had trouble in the past knowing who is really my friend and who is just some person i know that doesn't mind being around me. there is nothing like hard times to let you know who your real friends are. your real friends care about you. they will tell you. it may not be direct, but they will show you in some way. and the ones that aren't really your friends will also show themselves. when times are hard its easier to see the man behind the curtain. real friends will send a word your way or a simple 'how have you been?' they'll be there for you when you need it. offer support or just an ear to listen. some kind of sympathy. those that don't, well, they aren't. its regrettable that i have learned people i considered dear friends are not. its regrettable that i will have to learn to cut these people out of my life. its regrettable all of this had to happen. truth be told part of me wishes i didnt know the things i do now-then i could go on pretending. but things change and so do people. life is too short to keep phonies and jerks around. the cog wheel of life will keep turning so long as i am willing to crank it.

if you are reading this and you know me, chances are you are one of the good ones. and for being there for me, for being a true friend, i thank you. you are a rarity for me these days and you may not know just how much you mean to me. there is no other way for me to express myself so i will just repeat it: thank you. thank you for being a real friend. you rock.

The Balanescu Quarter - Computer Love

2005-04-18T06:16:00.000-04:00

Well. It's been almost a whole month since I've written anything. Looks like I trailed off a bit on my blog duties. Such is life. It's been one crazy month since I rocked the blog. The family in Japan, a trip to China to see an old friend, a new school year, and hanami....all in the last month. Cripes. If there was a way to break it all down quickly I would...but there is so much to catch up on...China deserves it's own separate post. I'll get to that later.

In the meantime..

The Family

Wow. What can I say. I had an excellent time. And I will hopefully never have to do that again. There's a lot of things I forgot about living in a foreign country. Like how complicated everything seems. And how helpless you are. Now that I've been here a while I can pretty much do most things effortlessly. The trip to China reminded me of how insane-o foreign countries are.
I simply forgot that Japan is a 'foreign country.' I think of it more as home now than anything. So yeah, that was one taihen trip. Looking after 3 people at all times really was a lot of work. Ordering for everyone, carting everyone around, making sure everyone had their tickets, chopstick use instruction, etcetcetcetcetc...Monday night made it all worth while though. A nice-sized group of friends at Takako's bar and The Hook with Kyoichi debut show. Everyone had a great time, myself included. Food, family, drinks, friends. It was a fucking blast.

There is one thing that happened that still kind of pisses me off. A good example of ye olde closet racism in Japan. When we arrived at the hotel the staff spoke English and so I let Dad take care off all the dirty work. He was paying for it, after all. I didn't have to say a thing and frankly I was happy for that. I'd be their voice for the next week so I was more than happy to let someone else take care of the bill while I could. So the guy asks for the bill and Dad whips out cash and I start to tell him....Whoa...You should pay with the card. You will need that cash. Of course I turned out to be wrong but...that was before I knew how much stuff we would get to that week. I had a lot planned. So the hotel guy had already started writing up a bill for cash and Dad asked him if it was ok if he payed with a credit card instead. The hotel guy gave him a huge smile and then said in bad English: "That is no problem at all, sir. Of course we can do that." Or some bullshit like that. Then he went back to work his paper work and under his breath said in Japanese "What a pain in the ass..."

I was so enraged. So fucking enraged. It's hard to understand how angry I was unless you've lived here. This country is known for excellent service. And the service is usually fucking superb but as a foreigner sometimes you get the shaft. However a straight up "what a pain in the ass" is something I hadn't even considered. The fact that this guy even let that slip.....Whether or not any of us could understand him....guh....I could feel my face getting hot from all the blood rushing to it. I was boiling with anger. Finally I asked this jackass in not-so-polite Japanese "What's a pain in the ass?" As soon as I opened my mouth the other employees behind the desk became visibly agitated. His initial response was kind of a "huuuuaaaA?" like "what the fuck?" So I repeated myself: "You said "what a pain in the ass" so I'm asking you...what's a pain in the ass? Paying by credit card?" The fucking little weasle immediately grinned and said in very polite Japanese: "Oh no sir, I'm sorry. My english is very bad so you misunderstood me. I was speaking Enlgish but my English is very bad." At this point I had two options. Yell at the dude and tell him to fuck off and give us a discount....or just let it slide and finish cheking in smoothly. I opted for number two as to not freak out my very jet lagged family. Just another day in Xenophobistan. Round eye can't understand our master language.

Other than that the week was great. I think the fam really enjoyed getting to see the environment I've been living in for the past two years. My Dad said "Even if we end up paying for this trip for the next ten years...it was worth it." That's a lot coming from him. My Mom and Sis seemed pretty impressed/overwhelmed by the whole thing. That makes me think it was a good first trip to Japan. You should end up leaving with some kind of a "huuuuuuuuuh?????" feeling.

The only thing that threw me for a major loop was my parents. They are getting old. I was glad they got over when they could. I'm not sure they could do it again in a few years...I haven't been around much since I left for college in 1998. Not that I intended to make myself scarce around the homestead...I just have had other things going on in my life. My parents have really aged and I hadn't noticed it at all until they got here. We had a lot of things planned but only got to about half of it all. They just couldn't keep up. The pace of life here is just so fucking fast and sometimes it takes an old couple like Maw and Paw O'Reilly to remind me of it. I was somewhat shocked when I realized damn...my parents aren't invincible. When I was young I just assumed they would always be around and nothing short of a major natural disaster could kill them. Of course I was wrong, but until I hung out with them everyday for a week I hadn't realized it. It was great to see them but they are aging. It's weird.

Hanami

Ohhhhh boy. Hanami this year. Did not exactly go as planned. What was supposed to be a quick trip to Yoyogi Park for Cherry Blossom Viewing turned into quite a drunken debacle. I had planned on going for a quick drink before heading out to Naoko's house warming party but...things didn't go quite as planned. Demian and I arrived at 430 or so only to find out that Kento wouldn't be arriving until 6 or 7. Then Kento said the one thing that I didn't want to hear. The one thing I had feared he would say. It was also the one thing I knew he was going to say. "Junsuke should already be there..." Yup.

Junsuke. The Mayor of Douchebag City.

Junsuke isn't a bad guy or anything. He's just one of those dudes that insists on speaking in broken, terrible English despite the fact that I can carry on a conversation just fine in Japanese. And sure enough, as soon as I called him:

"Sean? I am bridge."

"*What? Where are you guys?"

"Hello? Sean? Where?"

"*Yeah. We are by the fountain. Where are you guys?"

"Grey shirt."

"What? I can't understand you. What are you saying? Where are you?"

"Bridge. Anooo. Hunsui! Bridge! Grey shirt."

"*Ok. The fountain by the bridge. Just wait at the bridge. We are on are way."

*Starred means Japanese spoken. Notice that King Douche didn't use any Japanese.

Finally we met up and went to the tarp Junsuke had set up. There weren't many people there. Four, aside from us and Junsuke. Right away Demian and I went to work on a bottle of shochu. By the end of the night we had finished that off, smoked some hash with Kento in the middle of some trees, and taken a mighty shot of some expensive tequilla that was probably a double or triple shot now that I think about it. I kinda lost track of what happened after that. Next thing I know I'm on the floor of Akabane station wishing I had left the tequilla and shochu alone. Too late. I crawled home and didn't even make it to Naoko's. Oh well. I had a good time. We also managed to swindle all that booze out of Junsuke for free. Haha.

School

Yup. A new year has begun. Things are pretty fucking crazy right now. So busy. I've been at school from 8am to 6 or 7pm every night. A new teacher to train. A new group of kids to work with. Things are going pretty well this year. I'm looking most forward to teaching the ADHD/LD English class. Two reasons. 1) The kids are great. They are sometimes hard to handle but they are so sweet and genuinely interested in learning that teaching them is a breeze. 2)Okay, the first reason is nice but the real reason is because I'm going to be working with this absolutely beautiful young girl at our school. She's a first year teacher. So hot. In fact, I can hardly wait to go over our lesson plan tomorrow. Just to be near her.

Hot damn!
-Mr. Taylor

Let's Dance - David Bowie

2005-03-21T03:43:00.000-05:00

Sweet.
It's been a while but I've been busy.

The weather today has been amazing. Warm, sunny, a cool breeze. Went on a nice bike ride to the park in Wako City. Managed to get some laundry done and a little more cleaning taken care of as well. I only hope that the weather will be this nice when the fam' gets here in 5 days. The final preperations are finally starting to come together. Not much left to do now but wash some dishes and sit around twiddling my thumbs until Saturday. It's gonna be pretty crazy. The O'Reilly family in Japan. Hilarious schtuff.

I picked up an all region dvd player this weekend, too. This thing is fucking rad. And it was damn cheap, too. ¥6500! I'm not sure how it works with customs in America but somehow I'm going to get this thing back to Ohio when I leave. There are too many DVDs that I can buy now and actually watch....I'm thinking I won't be saving as much money as I had originally thought.....but hey..whatcha gonna do...

I'm going to rewatch a few movies tonight, I think. Last night I got pretty drunk with some friends of mine. We are all teachers. We were appropriately drinking Teachers Whisky. We also drank a bunch of beers. Then we passed out. Some movies were playing the whole time but I don't remember much about any of them.

p.s.
Those dudes in that picture were some serious-hard-core-mother-fucking-rock-and-roll rocknrollers. I only wish I could somehow have gotten a picture of the front side of them without them knowing...

Les oreilles qui saignent - Prototypes

2005-03-11T04:59:00.000-05:00

It's Friday. Where have I been all week? Well...I've been asleep. I've been stealing music from Marc. I've been learning how to play go. I've been trying to keep my head on straight and not get too caught up in all the insanity going on at work this time of year. And yet...I almost did...here is why:

The other day at work we had a staff meeting. It went pretty late and the main reason was our upcoming graduation. It didn't help that we spent a good 30 minutes discussing how we should properly dispose of our empty milk cartons from lunch.

At one point in the meeting the 3rd grade teachers all had to stand up and give a report on the graduation situation.

What I was expecting was a simple run down of what was to happen on graduation day and some questions/requests from the 3rd grade teachers regarding plans for the big day. What unfolded instead enraged me to the point where I could actually feel heat radiating off of my face. Instead of the aforementioned requests/questions, this was actually a chance for the teachers to give reports on the worst students in their grade. Each homeroom teacher gave a somewhat detailed report on their bad students. They mentioned how many days they had attended school this year. They mentioned what their plans were after school. They mentioned what each student's parents had to say. And then the teachers did something that blew me away. They asked everyone if it was ok if the students graduated anyway. All of these students were at school less than 80 days out of 194. Most of them were never in class. And yet all but one of them are going to graduate.

It pissed me off so much. They've done no work. Most of them caused more harm at school than good. They didn't study. They've learned nothing. No wait. They learned one thing: it doesn't matter if you give a shit--you can do whatever you want and still get away with it.

It took all of the power inside of me not to stand up and raise an objection, but it would have caused quite a stir. And seeing as how I wasn't even given the accompanying print-out that went with these requests it was obvious I wasn't even supposed to hear this stuff. Or my opinion doesn't seem to matter.

Either way I really want to ask one of the teachers WHY these kids get to graduate anyway. The only problem is I know it will most likely offend them. There is a cultural difference here that I understand in form but not in function. I don't see it's purpose. That's why I decided to just let it go.

I know I'm sounding like an old man here. "Those damn kids!!" Sometimes it's hard to believe myself. That's why I've just let this one go. Chalking it up to culture again and moving on...

Moving on to more important things...
I've been thinking more about what I'm going to do when I get back Stateside. The whole "substitute teacher at Talawacky" is one plan. A hilarious one. The more I think about it though, I can't see it lasting too long. Which means I'm going to have to find something to do....any ideas?

The long term plans aren't going that well either. It seems that being bi-lingual isn't enough to get a job. Apparently you need to be bi-lingual and have some other special skill like "marketing" or "being the manager of an automotive plant." Of course, seeing as how I'm none of the above...I feel a bit like I've fucked myself. Granted I don't like the idea of thinking about a career. But let's face it. I'm almost 25 and still have very little idea where I'm going or what I'm doing.

Ideally, I would like to get a job setting up and introducing Japanese artists/musicians to English speaking countries. Even booking tours, that sort of thing. I'd like to help some of the wonderful artists in this country get some exposure that they could never manage to get on their own. People need to hear and see this shit!

This requires two things. 1) High level of proficiency in Japanese. I'm working on it. I plan on going back to school next year to concentrate more on learning Japanese. It's GOING to happen. 2) Support from people who can help me make this a reality. Right now this is the one I'm having trouble with.

At any rate before I can do any of that I need to get some experience translating or interpreting or doing something with my Japanese to prove that I'm worthy of this kind of job. Now comes the vicious cycle:

You want a job translating? What other skills do you have? How much experience do you have? Little. None. Well we are looking for people with experience.

How can I get experience if everyone is looking for someone with experience? I'm going to have to just start making up lies on my resume I think.

So. If you hear of any sweet jobs dealing with translating Japanese available in the Greater Cincinatti area, let me know...

morning emergency post

2005-03-07T17:31:00.000-05:00

rza is on fresh air.

this is amazing please listen here.

Brave Captain - fIREHOSE

2005-03-07T07:59:00.000-05:00

So I've been debating on whether or not I should write about the teacher I work with, but recently I've realized that maybe I should document what's been going on in case she offs herself. This would clear me of all charges of murder. Which is good because I am about to murder her.

So for safety's sake, let us call this woman Kiddo. Kiddo started working with me in April of last year. She is a young woman, a year older than me. Like me, this was her first real job out of college. Like me, she'd never been a teacher before. In fact, it seemed like we had a lot in common at first and that we would hit it off quite well.

I was wrong.

The first semester went well. I helped her ease into the rhythm of daily school life. She was eager to get started. Frankly, after spending the last year running things I was more than willing to let someone else take the reins. I gave her the go ahead and figured the transition would go smoothly and I'd have a little more free time.

Things were fine for a while. She had great ideas. She wasn't too sure about discipline in the class room but I wasn't too concerned with it-in retrospect, a mistake-but overall I was really enjoying my now not-so-heavy workload and having someone to actually share ideas with. It wasn't until the start of the second semester that things started going wrong. I'm not even sure if I would say "go wrong" at that point, but it was the first time I noticed some...peculiarities in Kiddo's behavior.

The first sign was the haircut. Kiddo had shoulder length naturally colored hair when she began teaching. After some weekend in the summer, Kiddo came back with short, dyed hair. Pixie short. That terrible orange-blonde color Japanese people seem to love. It was...interesting.

Of course everyone made a big deal about it. It was a drastic change. Many people asked her if something had happened recently. Her answer was that no, nothing had changed and she was just hot having all that hair before. Sure thing, Kiddo. I didn't buy it and neither did anyone else. Things were pretty much normal for a while after that, but then her behavior started changing.

The first major thing I noticed was her lack of communication with me. I sit next to this woman in the staff room. I share 21 classes a week with this woman. My whole school life revolves around having a good relationship with this woman. And she wasn't talking to me. Or anyone else. She started having "shutdown" days. Days where she would speak as little as possible and make eye contact with as few people as possible. In class she was still doing a great job, but outside of class it was another world entirely. A little strange, but still professional enough to not be a problem.

This slowly changed into an even worse phase where she would randomly ask me questions concerning relationships and sex. Completely innapropriate topics for discussion among co-workers. A lot of hypothetical situations involving a boy and a girl breaking up, or fighting, etc. It was clear to me that she was having some kind of relationship problems. I'll keep it short but I think it can best be summed up in this scene which really did happen:

---------
Scene: Another day. No words have been exchanged between us in a week and a half save the daily "Good morning!" and "See you tomorrow"s. Kiddo and I are eating our respective lunches at our desks in slience.

Kiddo pauses in mid-chew. She sets down her chopsticks and swallows.

Kiddo turns her head towards me.

"Would you have sex with someone even if you didn't love them?"
---------

The story gets more interesting when one week an in-service meeting and demonstration lesson comes up. All the English teachers in the city have to participate and so our Vice Principal gives her a roster with all the names on it. Well, I ask if I can see the sheet. Her reaction is to snarl at me "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T SEE IT!" She then proceeds to claw at the sheet in panic and stuffs it into her desk drawer. She runs out of the room. She later declines participation in the in-service and so neither of us get to go.

At some point, she taught her favorite students how to say "fuck you" in English. Trouble-making girls that hate me. There were two problems with this. The first problem I had was that she didn't even give an appropriate translation. She told them that the equivalent meaning in Japanese could roughly be translated to "annoying" depending on context. I've heard teachers use the Japanese expression on their students to their faces. Hardly an innapropriate word for school. The second problem I had was her denying she ever taught them the word. Of course the girls immediately tried out this new phrase on the only native English speaker they know, me. And they did it in front of Kiddo. Kiddo told them to stop saying that and that it was rude. The students response: "But you just told us how to say it. Why can't we say it? You just taught us it!" She denied everything.

I could go on with stories like this for days but this post is getting long and I have some daily show clips to watch.

I think I can best sum it all up in one sentence. Three words. Succinct.
"I hate children."

And she's a teacher. Certified, or certifiable?

-----------------

I thought I'd at least share some nice links at the end of this long, disheartening rant. So here is some awesome stuff to enjoy. I have some music videos you should see. I'd say that both of them are great representatives of two easily identifiable time periods in American culture.

The first one is from a band called Fiasco from New York. Thanks to Marc for telling me about this one. Porno-comedy at it's finest. This video is NOT work-safe. It contains nudity. And lots of it. It's pretty hilarious to watch that lady do the things with her jugs.

The second video is from the awesome French dude who makes up Les Rhythmes Digitales on Astralwerks. Straight work-safe, and straight 80's awesomeness.

Finally, I leave you with this image.

Bullshit - Fila Brazillia

2005-03-04T17:19:00.000-05:00

I came across this article on guitar playing this morning. I think it's probably one of the greatest pieces of music writing I've ever read. I'm just going to repost the whole article here because everyone should read it.

How to play Guitar
by David Fair

I taught myself to play guitar. It's incredibly easy when you understand the science of it. The skinny strings play the high sounds, and the fat strings play the low sounds. If you put your finger on the string farther out by the tuning end it makes a lower sound. If you want to play fast, move your hand fast and if you want to play slower move your hand slower. That's all there is to it. You can learn the names of notes and how to make chords that other people use, but that's pretty limiting. Even if you took a few years and learned all the chords you'd still have a limited number of options. If you ignore the chords your options are infinite and you can master guitar playing in one day.

Traditionally, guitars have a fat string on the top and they get skinnier and skinnier as they go down. But the thing to remember is it's your guitar and you can put whatever you want on it. I like to put six different sized strings on it because that gives the most variety, but my brother used to put all of the same thickness on so he wouldn't have so much to worry about. What ever string he hit had to be the right one because they were all the same.

Tuning the guitar is kind of a ridiculous notion. If you have to wind the tuning pegs to just a certain place, that implies that every other place would be wrong. But that's absurd. How could it be wrong? It's your guitar and you're the one playing it. It's completely up to you to decide how it should sound. In fact I don't tune by the sound at all. I wind the strings until they're all about the same tightness. I highly recommend electric guitars for a couple of reasons. First of all they don't depend on body resonating for the sound so it doesn't matter if you paint them. As also, if you put all the knobs on your amplifier on 10 you can get a much higher reaction to effort ratio with an electric guitar than you can with an acoustic. Just a tiny tap on the strings can rattle your windows, and when you slam the strings, with your amp on 10, you can strip the paint off the walls.

The first guitar I bought was a Silvertone. Later I bought a Fender Telecaster, but it really doesn't matter what kind you buy as long as the tuning pegs are on the end of the neck where they belong. A few years back someone came out with a guitar that tunes at the other end. I've never tried one. I guess they sound alright but they look ridiculous and I imagine you'd feel pretty foolish holding one. That would affect your playing. The idea isn't to feel foolish. The idea is to put a pick in one hand and a guitar in the other and with a tiny movement rule the world.

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YES!

Ketsueki - Kokeshi Doll

2005-03-01T07:01:00.000-05:00

Finally started cleaning the living room. It's lookin' good but it's going to take more than a couple of days to get everything clean. The trick will be to make sure it stays clean until they get here.

This is really just a post for the band Kokeshi Doll. They are fucking rad and their live show will make your head explode. Talk about your power trios. Make sure you check out the mp3 section. I recommend going to the Japanese version of the site if you can because it has a shitload more links and information than the never-updated English section.

ROCK!

Curly Dub - Lee "Scratch" Perry & The Upsetters

2005-02-27T05:14:00.000-05:00

Just about have the trip to China completely planned. The only thing I have left to do now is pick up my visa from the Embassy. Got the tickets, got the time off, etc. Can't wait to go. It's been too long since I've seen Seth! And a trip to China to boot!

Today I did this thing called "English Cafe" where I get paid ¥5000 to talk to people for two hours in a restaurant. My friend Takako's father owns the place so I got a call last night asking if I could fill in for someone today. Of course I jumped on the chance to make ¥5000 and get free coffee. And....

Oh Man. It was so worth it. And all because of one man. His real name? I have no idea. His moniker: Elton. Elton has a bit of an attitude. Kind of like he's better than you. Or really famous. Elton is probably in his late twenties. He wears big thick glasses. Kind of like these.** He wears turtlenecks. He claims to have played the keyboard for 20 years. He has been to London several times. He wants to live there. He likes rock music, specifically late 70's piano rock. He was surprised that I'd "never heard of him." I only hope that Elton is there the next time I go to English cafe. I think I'm going to try humming "Rocket Man" under my breath next time and see what happens.
**Doing a search for these glasses somehow turned up a find for 'home ec. teacher' porn. Oh Japan.

So the 1st graders have just finished up their final exams for the year. I'm grading the 'letter to Sean Sensei' section. I don't know what this says about my ability to teach English but there are some gems in here that I had to share:

"Dear Sean sensei. I'ts a cool Sean. usually Thenk you. I LovE sean."

"Hi Sean. I am stubey Happi Engrish. Don't be sed. Miss you. Yuur student (student's name) Good bay."

"Dear Sean sensei. Hi Sean. Ha wo you? I'm fualn. I miss you."

"Hello sean sensei. I like sean sensei. This is my first E-mail. I miss you. See you next werak."

"Hi Seansensei. You are so kins. You are so cool. I miss you. Take cans. Your studey, (student's name)"

Yeah. Good stuff.

I still haven't cleaned or done any of the things I said I was going to do. I'm hoping to get some kind of inspiration to start cleaning but something tells me it will be the only thing that ever inspires me: last minute panic.

Magic Hours - Explosions in the Sky

2005-02-25T07:10:00.000-05:00

It snowed last night. Well into morning it was snowing...and when I woke up there was snow on the ground. That doesn't happen often around here. It was really nice. People were freaking out everywhere and I tried to explain to Foxy and Kyoichi that they had nothing to worry about as far as driving goes because the ground was too warm for it to really freeze. They just kinda said 'uh huh.' I think it pissed them off that I wasn't making such a big deal about an inch or two of snow. Eh. Let them enjoy their snow, I guess.

Today I went to Carli's elementary school to check out some of her classes and try and get a feel for the new 1st graders we'll be getting in April. Looks like we're gonna have another batch of namaiki kids and kids without much yaruki. But I was amazed at how different the atmosphere in her staff room is! Very relaxed and friendly. Ni Chuu is just way too formal. Nazi-like, if you will. They aren't dishing out soup; they regulate things like toner and vacation days.

It's weird to think I'll be leaving in six or seven months. I'm not really ready to leave all my friends behind. I am constantly meeting new and cool people. Everyone keeps begging me to stay. On one hand I don't want to leave. But I know I can't keep working at Ni Chuu. Oh well, I'll find a way to get back. I only hope I can pick up where I leave off when I do return.

I'm also excited about moving in with Jim and Alex. It's been in the works for a while now and the gears are slowly starting to turn. It should be a good time, I just hope I can get things back on track. It'll be weird going back without 'school' or a 'job' to return to. Kinda starting over in a familiar place but...I'm not sure how things will work out.

I just finished watching this movie ChungKing Express that my pal Marc let me borrow. Good movie. Mandarin sounds like a very interesting language/dialect. I won't talk too much about the story but I'll say that it's worth checking out. I'm glad Tarantino released this movie in America. It's too bad that dude is still a huge mong. I tried watching his comments on the movie and I ended up just wanting to punch him. I didn't.

Faye Wong, the 'madonna' of Hong Kong according to Mr. Mong himself, was very good in the movie. I dunno. I guess I'm a sucker for cute girls with pixie haircuts.

I was supposed to start shamisen lessons tomorrow but I got a call this evening from the lady who told me about the class telling me that the sensei wouldn't be there in the afternoon and I'd have to try again. Next week I'm going snowboarding with Carli and Ichina so it looks like it'll be a while before I get to try the famous three stringed Japanese banjo. As long as I can get my hands on one before I leave...

Lately I've been really really fucking lazy. I get up. I go to work. I come home. I eat something. I watch tv or I sit in front of the computer and check out shit I've downloaded while I was out. I don't exercise. Not a healthy thing. Winters here are harsh. It's hard to stay cheery when it's constantly just above freezing in your apartment and you don't see the sun for weeks at a time. I need to get my life back on track. I need to stop smoking. I need to start exercising. I still need to clean my apartment. Like last winter though...it's almost over and things will be looking up soon. I only need to hold out for a few more weeks and I'll have another fresh start to boost me. Hopefully this time it will work.

When I first got here there were a lot of things that I had planned to do and figured that a big move like this would help me change some of the things I don't like about myself. Of course that didn't work. Breaking old habits isn't as easy as changing locations. Although a lot HAS changed in the last two years I'm still doing the same shit that's bad for me.

Self-discipline isn't easy for me. I'm really trying to quit smoking now. The family is coming over a month from tomorrow. That leaves me a month to get things worked out and get on the path(s?) in the right direction. I can remember the last time in my life I was Really happy and it was before I moved here. It started when I began studying Japanese. I was the healthiest I've ever been. I wasn't smoking. I was eating right. Things were going well.

Reverberations are sometimes hard to shake.

The Hook has another live. March 28th at Cafe Lamp in Omiya. It should be a blast. A great place full of friends and of course The Fam' there cheering us on. Our debut with Kyoichi on drums. Tanoshimi da naaa!

Anyway I need to get going. I need to make a lesson plan for my senior class tomorrow morning. Only a few more classes to go. Three left, actually. I'm running out of things to teach these folks, honestly. And I think their interest is wanning. But I can hold out for another month. GAMBARIMASU!

After Dark - Hieroglyphics

2005-02-21T05:35:00.000-05:00

My apartment is trashed. I mean TRASHED. It's been pretty bad as of late. Call it laziness. Call it boredom. Whatever it is, it can't go on. Im starting to do some laundry slowly now. Eventually in a week or two I'm hoping it will be totally clean. The kitchen won't be much of a problem.

This should only take ten or twenty minutes of throwing stuff away and paying overdue bills. But the living room...

Well, this is going to take a while. Empty boxes from mail. Trash. Shitloads of cds, dvds, papers from work...Im running out of space.

Unspeakable acts of cruelty. Layers of clothes. I guess I could say I'm a fucking slob. Luckily I finally have some motivation to clean this place up and keep it that way. The fam' arrives in Japan next month...

Make It Rain - Tom Waits

2005-02-20T08:44:00.000-05:00

I haven't done much writing since coming to Japan. My skills have definitely gone down hill since arriving but I guess that is to be expected...I apolgize if I leave out important things like particles or misspell a lot of words. Give me a break I spend most of my days teaching things like "Have you ever been to China?" Anyway I thought I'd share some thoughts I have on Japanese Education and the role of the "English Guidance Assistant" a.k.a. people with my job. Im sure this will sound quite bitter, but I'd first like to say that I love living here and have been having an excellent time. Ive learned so much and still have so much to learn. I love seeing the kids and talking to them outside of class. Interacting with them is certainlly the best part of my job. Of course there are good days and bad days but overall I really like how bright and creative my students are. Not a week goes by that I'm not amazed by something one of my students does or says. I just have a few thoughts on why I can't continue to have the job that I do now.

The education system here is really starting to get to me. Mainly because it has nothing to do with Education. I've come to the conclusion that compulsory education in Japan isn't really about learning traditional things like Science or Math or History. Granted, these subjects are all taught in school. And the students still have tests, homework, assignments. That much resembles a traditional American education. Its the actual content that is driving me mad. Its all very very elementary stuff. When kids start junior high school they begin to learn not about the world, or how to do sums and what the capital of India is, but about how to be good Japanese citizens. They learn about and develop important relationships that they will have in real world situations. They learn about group responsibility and how to treat people in a group. They learn that how you do something is as equally important as what you do. Sometimes what you do doesn't even matter, it's simply a matter of whether you did it in the right way.

For me, this can be quite frustrating at times. I'm here to promote internationalization in a very homogenous culture. To expose children to things they might not learn unless they speak to someone from a foreign country. These things I can do no problem, but I'm also here to teach English. Now, most students attend school from 8-4. They then have a club activity they have to attend from 4-6 or so. Students then go directly to cram school. Cram school can go until 11pm in some areas. It's in cram school that the students memorize the important things they need to know for passing entrance exams into high school. At 'regular' school they hang out, they talk to their friends, they practice the things they learned in cram school last year. Most students aren't interested in actually learning anything new at public schools.

So much pressure is put upon the student themself that public school becomes a break. You want to pass your entrance exams and get into a good high school? Go to a good cram school. You want to get into a good college so that you can get into an equally good company after graduation? Go to a good high school. So little emphasis is placed on that in public schools that it's hard to take learning seriously.

This is starting to be a problem. Its hard to keep caring about students who aren't interested in learning. Its merely an excercise. Its babysitting. Last year when I first arrived a 65 year old English teacher told me that we were simply babysitters. She was on her last leg of the school year. She'd been teaching for about 40 years. I didn't know if that was her "im ready to get the fuck out of here" attitude or if she was actually conveying some wisdom to me. After spending the last year and a half in the classroom I would have to agree with her. Yes, the students do learn and of course there are many eager students at my school, but most of these eager students are young learners who are excited simply because everything is so new. By the time they have reached third year they have learned what school is about. They know that most of the information they 'learn' in public school isn't about facts. Its about how to act in society. Its about what will be expected of them in the future.

Its very interesting but as someone who knows little about how to be Japanese its a bit of a problem. Im not sure what kind of advice to give to kids because I'm not Japanese. I'm not allowed to discipline technically; it's a clause in my contract. On top of this is the fact that I will always be viewed as an outsider. No matter how good my Japanese becomes or how long I have lived here I will be forever viewed as someone foreign and therefore someone who will never understand what makes a good Japanese citizen. So even if I do give advice and it's solid information, it will never be taken seriously simply because I'm not Japanese. There is an article about this I recently read. Granted the English is a little strange at times, but keep in mind it was written by a guy who lives in Japan. The website hosting it is pretty lame but there is some good insight in this article that goes into more detail about the issue surrounding foreigners living in Japan.

I know not all fields are like this in Japan, but I think it's interesting that the Japanese government has set up an 'internationalization' program in junior high schools. Junior high schools: the last stance for compulsory education. Students who graduate and go on to high school will have more of the same. The students who don't go on to high school become 7/11 and gas station employees.

Anyway, it's been quite a trip. I've learned so much. I've enjoyed it. But I have to say I'm glad that my time at Niiza Shi Ritsu Dai Ni Chuu Gakko will be up come July.